I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
