I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
