Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
