Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
