she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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