It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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