Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
