Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
