get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
