i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
