I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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