I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the condom got lost in my hair
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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