Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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