people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
