My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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