But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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