where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
