I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
