Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
