Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
