she was so not down for the gang bang
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
