jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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