If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
