Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
this is an emotional support booty call
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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