So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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