Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
