she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
