I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He has the fingertips of a God
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