i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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