so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
