Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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