are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
