You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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