I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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