Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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