She's JV to your varsity
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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