Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
