This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We don't watch enough power rangers
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
