I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
