i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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