So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
cat food counts as protein by the way
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
