Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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