i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
