Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I die, sorry about rent.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
