The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
