So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
