D3 body, D1 cock
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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