Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
