Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
