I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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