i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
